The reasons?
According to research conducted by Dr Larry Cahill of the University of California at Irvine, part of the limbic cortex of the brain, which is responsible for our emotional responses, is much larger in women than in men.
Add to that the fact that "guys have a smaller density of neurons in areas of the temporal lobe that deal with language processing" (scientists at McMaster University) and it's easy to see why they have such a hard time understanding the words coming out of a woman's mouth. (Hence the reason we have to be more direct with men if we ever want them to know what we're thinking or want.)
And just when you thought matters couldn't get any more complex, sc
ientists have discovered that the male brain is actually his largest sex organ. In fact the part of his brain that is responsible for his sexual thoughts is physically twice as large as that in women, and contains twice as many of the cells that produce these sexually charged thoughts. Hence it's easy to see why women might feel they're not on par with their overtly sexually zealous male partner ...
Hence manslating - the translation of male words, behaviours and text messages - seems more vital to me than ever before.
Especially after the last runaway best-selling topic on this blog titled Manslations: the naked truth about men, I thought it necessary that we revisit the topic.
While many of you (mostly males) were wondering why indeed male behaviour needed a manslation dictionary in the first place, considering men claim that they usually say what they mean and don't speak in code at all, the women weren't so sure.
In fact, just the other night, a girlfriend received a text from a man she's dubbed The Player, inviting her to a late-night rendezvous. After she read it out aloud at the dinner table, the women immediately jumped in with translations of their own.
"Oooh, he is sooo into you!" one cooed.
"Yeah, I can't believe he's thinking of you right now! That definitely shows he likes you," concurred another.
Yet the men at the table weren't so sure.
One gent, who was particularly familiar with this sort of game-playing, explained it like this:
"I do this all the time. I'll text four or five girls when I'm drunk late at night and see which ones are available. Then I'll probably pass out, wake up the next day and find four or five text messages back. Then I'll have a shower and realise that one of the women I sent a text to didn't actually reply. And then I'll start to fantasise about her, and maybe even call her. It's the cat and mouse game - I'll want the one who wasn't so easy to get. But if she makes it super hard to get her, then I'll just move on. Sometimes it's just too difficult to get it on with one woman so I'll just settle for another."
Oh, and he was being dead serious, by the way.
What I've found most surprising is that, when it comes to manslating, men are eager to jump in to help out, as long as it's not in relation to their own behaviour.
Hence, when reader Optimiss received two confusing texts from a bloke, which had her mightily flummoxed, she enlisted the blokes to help her out with a little manslation.
The first text read this, "Here's my number in case you need it one day."
The second said something equally as non-committal: "Hey, how's it going - what do you have coming up ... anything exciting?"
When she asked if any men cared to proffer up a manslation, many eager blokes jumped into the ring.
One man wrote this: "Manslation 1: 'Booty call me sometime', Manslation 2: 'I want to know if you're available.'
Another reckoned a more accurate translation would be this: "Manslation #1 - 'I like you but am so insecure that I don't know if you would consider dating me, so here is my number that I want you to have, but just in case you think I am a tool, you might also interpret this as me just being friendly so I don't lose too much face.'
And Manslation #2: 'Still here, still insecure, and want to ask you out, but once again, in case you think I am a total tool, just wondering if you are out there having fun and maybe we could meet up, that is of course unless you think I am a tool, in which case I was just making conversation so get over yourself OK.' "
A third offered this advice to Optimiss; "Why don't you reply this: 'Hate to waste a good number when I get one. Where are you taking me on Friday night?' Then let him ask you out. If no reply, then he WAS a tool!"
By author Jeff Mac's reckoning, manslating is pretty easy to do, if you follow his cardinal rule that men contact you for two things: they either want to sleep with you, or they want to see you more, or they want to do both.
Hence, with every encounter, text, Facebook message or Twitter shout-out, he writes in his book titled "Manslations: Decoding The Secret Language Of Men" that women should be asking themselves two questions: "Is his behaviour designed to get me into bed? Or is it designed to spend more time with me?"
If they're not contacting you at all, they don't want either from you. And if a man doesn't even want to sleep with you, that should be a universal sign he's not interested. End of story."
When I enlightened my girlfriend about this little factoid, a light seemed to go off inside her head.
"Ahuh! So if I text him back and he hasn't replied, he not only doesn't want to see me more, he doesn't even want to have sex with me. Which should mean that he doesn't like me, so I should stop all this worrying."
Indeed. Manslating mission complete.
What do you think?
Have a fabulous weekend and happy dating!
